Recent funnies from Silas

After setting up the Christmas tree and going over the rules around what's permitted and what's not, I placed our tree skirt under the tree to hide the tree stand. Silas promptly declared, "Look! A girl tree!"

After Silas had a time out for hitting his brother:

Me- "We never hit Silas. Hitting is mean and we always want to show love."

Silas- "We only hit bad guys!"

Me- "I don't want you to hit anybody- God wants us to love everybody and show love all the time. Please no hitting." 

Silas- "Police men hit bad guys."

Me- "Police keep us safe and sometimes that means hitting a bad guy but police try not to hit and they don't like hitting."

Silas- "Oh. (Pause). Hulk hits bad guys. Hulk SMASH!"

Me- "Hulk is pretend and real people show love and do not hit."

Silas- "Okay. Sorry Ezra." 

Me- "Silas, where would you like to go on your special date with Mommy?"

Silas- "Um...Grandma's house!"

Silas- "Mommy I love this painting. You make this painting?"

Me- "No I didn't make that one Silas but it is very nice."

Silas- "Um...not like this painting. Not nice painting."

Me- "Silas what does Santa say?"
Silas, singing- "Ho-Ho-Ho Hosanna!" 

While driving in the car and pointing frantically:

Silas- "Mommy go this way! Superstore over there!" 

Me- "You are wrong Silas, that is the ice cream store. Mommy knows how to get to Superstore and you can't fool me." 

Me- "What would you like on your toast today Silas?" 

Silas- "Ezra likes peanut butter."

Me- "Yes I know he does, but I am asking you what you would like."

Silas- "I not like peanut butter."

Me- "I know you don't Silas but what DO you like?" 

Silas- "I like jam."

Me- "So I should put jam on your toast?"

Silas- "No...peanut butter."

Me- "You just told me you don't like peanut butter so I am not putting it on your toast."

Silas- "Yes! Peanut Butter! On toast!"

Me- "No. Jam, Honey or Cheese whiz?" 

Silas- "Peanut butter." 

Me- "Fine. No toast." 

Silas- "Yes! I like toast!"

Me- "With jam?" 

Silas- "Okay. With jam. Jam so yummy."

Me, under my breath - "Man O man."